Sunday, May 15, 2011
Why I need to write...
You know... I used to update my blog just about every day from the age of 17 to about 23. Before that I wrote in a journal just about every day from ages 11 to 17. I was constantly writing. Now, it's been two and a half years since I've really written anything.
I've dabbled in personal blogging here and there over the past few years but I've never been consistent. I think now that I run a website, and I'm on Facebook, and Twitter, and Twitter (2 accounts), and I receive about 50 e-mails a day (ones that I do actually have to read, not junk mail), I'm on the computer enough. The thought of sitting down at the computer AGAIN and blogging about my thoughts really isn't all that appealing!
I really do need to get back into it though for two reasons.
1) My brain is overloaded. It is one big jumbled mess of ideas, hopes, desires, goals, plans, happiness, struggles, insecurities, worry, fear, and pain. It's absolute chaos. I really have no idea what I'm doing at this point. Writing actually helps me to keep my thoughts organized so that I am able to stay focused. Writing about my life helps me to see the big picture. It gives me me a clear view of what is happening in my life and as a result, I am less stressed and less depressed.
2) I NEED to talk!! I need to get my thoughts out of my head and express myself in some way. When you blog you can pour out your heart - share your thoughts and opinions and if someone wants to read it, then that's great, if not, it's still good. Sometimes just getting the words out there is enough.
I am at home all.the.time. It's very rare that I get out and spend time with someone that isn't my husband, daughter, or my in-laws. I have SO much to do at home that socializing with friends is really the last thing on my list of priorities, and I don't think that is good. Fellowship is good and it is needed. Honestly, I'm desperate for friends and fellowship. I grew up with so many friends around all the time, I had this HUGE support group that understood me and cared about me. I never felt the need to "impress" anyone in the way that I do now. I could just be myself and I knew they loved me and would support me through anything and everything I did. Now I'm in this new state surrounded by all new people (well, that I've known for 4 years rather than 20) and I feel like I can't be myself around anyone. Why is that?
I hope that I can continue writing on this blog this time around. Writing really does help, and I definitely need help.
at May 15, 2011
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